I’ve been looking for work in Accounting/Finance in the Chicagoland area since last September. One website that I go to is Indeed.com.
I received an email from Safari Child Care of Palatine, IL. It said:
Thanks for your interest in the Accounting Administrative Assistant position at Safari Child Care. We have reviewed your application. Unfortunately the position has been filled.
Best of luck in your job search.
Okay, I thought. No worries. Just move along.
Well, about 15 minutes later, I received a phone call from them, asking if I were still interested in the Accounting opportunity. Since I am OUT OF WORK, I of course agreed. I agreed to an appointment for today at 11:00 AM.
I should have known something screwy was up. Let me tell you what happened, you can decide for yourselves.
I got to the location about 12 minutes early. I waited until about 7 minutes before 11 AM, and then walked over to what I thought was the front entrance. It was the front entrance to the child care center, not the corporate office. I was told that the corporate office was next door, so I went there.
I was greeted by Katja, with whom I had made the appointment to interview, and I was shown to a small room. The “corporate office” (cough cough) was more like a warehouse storage area, with a cubicle by the door and a few desks, but it was more of a storage area. Anyway, I was led into a small room that probably doubled as their lunch room. There was a water cooler in the corner, and a corkboard with the usual HR and safety nonsense postings, along with small posters that had things like Erik Erikson’s psychosocial developmental stages, Piaget’s 4 majors developmental stages, and Maslow’s needs hierarchy. There was already a very fat tall older white woman sitting at the table, and she appeared to have an application form that she was filling out. (She was fucking FAT! God damn, America! Lay off the burgers and tacos, ferchrissake!)
I sat down with my application form, and I filled it out. It took me 2 minutes, and I just sat and waited. After a few minutes, the fat whale tried to strike up a conversation with me. I wasn’t interested, but replied cordially. To no small surprise, she too was apparently here to apply for the same job. Apparently. I don’t really think she was, but I didn’t care. I was concerned as to whether we would be interviewed at the same time, which I would not have liked, and which I would have felt w/h/b unprofessional.
The fat land whale kept trying to engage me in conversation, and she started to mention weird things, like how she has been looking for work since last September (same as I), had had contact with shitburger employment agency Robert Half (same here), and how she had found out about this opportunity through Indeed.com. (Three strikes here, folks. WTF indeed!) She also mentioned that the position was part-time, which I had thought would be the case, especially when I saw their “corporate office” setup. It was a whole lot of weirdness, but I didn’t care, as I am, did I neglect to mention this, LOOKING FOR WORK?????
Anyway, Katja comes back and gives each of us some kind of test to take. She instructed us to follow the instructions EXACTLY. Okay, so I’m reading this shit, and it’s the STUPIDEST PIECE OF NONSENSE I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN! It said to write my last name in the middle of the back of the paper, then start drawing things, like a heart above my name, my favorite food, drawing two lines THROUGH my name, etc. etc. The instructions also said to follow steps 2 – 11, and yet there were only NINE steps. I asked about this, and Katja said that this was a new thing they were administering, so she didn’t know why it was wrong.
Anyway, I’m looking at this piece of shit nonsense, and then I decided “Fuck this shit.” I told Katja that I was not interested in taking this test, gave it back to here, and left their office.
My feeling is that the fat land whale that was sitting at the table with me and who was trying to engage me in conversation was some kind of industrial psychologist. I cannot prove this, but it’s just a feeling. A trick that interviewers do to gain someone’s trust is to establish common ground between them and the interviewee. I always thought that it’s illegal to administer such a psychological test without the subject’s consent, and if they do, they are required to “debrief” the candidate, that they candidate has been the subject of a psychological test. (I know this, as I have a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology!) I was not told afterward that I was the subject of any psychological test, nor was I debriefed. I do not have any proof that that is what happened, just a weird feeling about everything that happened. Hey, if I’m wrong, I’m wrong.
God damn stupid people, and this stupid country! The jobs market is DEAD DEAD DEAD, don’t believe the SHIT that the dumbfuck liberal media tells you. What’s next? Asking people to jump up and down and sing songs during the job interview?????